It was late at night when I pulled into our frost-coated driveway in Montana and turned off the car, I swung my travel bag over my shoulder and walked into the house. After setting my bag down on the kitchen table, I sleepily wandered to the thermostat and turned it up a few degrees. As I trudged up the stairs to bed I had a flash-back to the day I departed our Montana home for California and I remembered what would greet me upstairs.
My parents had been visiting Ella and I for the weekend and wanting to get every last moment together, I’d left the house in disarray. Clean sheets were piled on the bed, a huge mountain of laundry was in the corner, the guest room’s bed still needed to be stripped and cleaned up, and Ella’s bedroom looked like it does after an awesome playdate. As I made the bed and resolved to leave the rest of the mess for Monday, I realized just how much I’ve come to rely on keeping our home clean and clutter-free as a tool for a calmer mind.
As a highly sensitive person (HSP) and a mom to an even more intense HSP, part of our strategy for settling our nervous systems has been to keep our home environment as tranquil as possible. The term HSP was coined by Dr. Elaine Aron in her landmark book The Highly Sensitive Person. Dr. Aron defines the highly sensitive person (HSP) as someone who has a sensitive nervous system, is aware of subtleties in their surroundings, and is more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment. Here’s a quiz to see if you’re one of the estimated 1 in 5 people who are a HSP and here’s a quiz to see if your child is a HSP. I have a running theory that the percentage of HSPs is much higher in the minimalism community — I think we naturally gravitate to this lifestyle because simplicity is soothing.
As highly sensitive people, feeling calm, grounded, and centered is hard for both Ella and I. The environments we’re in dramatically effect how we feel. Practicing minimalism helps reduce distractions and overstimulation and creates feelings of peace and harmony in our home. The process of cultivating a home conducive to HSPs wasn’t fast, but it is invaluable for our wellbeing.
We started by minimizing our possessions since few things make me feel more scattered than a cluttered space. Then we mindfully created a home that’s comforting but simple and minimal. I believe a relaxing home starts with natural light — for optimal health we need exposure to bright daylight and to see greenery and trees. So when we chose our home, we made sure it had lots of big open windows.
We bring the natural world indoors with numerous beautiful house plants which not only help to detoxify the air, but boost mood, reduce stress, and improve creativity. Our living room has a large essential oil diffuser which we use frequently with our favorite fragrances: eucalyptus, lavender, cedar, and frankincense. We also have a cosy blanket, a fuzzy sheepskin rug and a good sound system. The bathroom showers have bunches of spiral eucalyptus attached to the shower heads which makes every shower feel like a luxurious spa experience.
One of my favorite evening rituals is to light a non-minimal number of candles which helps us keep artificial lighting limited. The low light encourages melatonin production for good sleep. The gentle flickering of candlelight resonates on a primordial level. When the candles are lit and the lights are off I instantly feel more in synch with the natural rhythms of life. To further facilitate sleep and winding down Ella uses a weighted blanket and we both have white noise machines.
Of course what works well for us, will not necessarily appeal to you, even if you are an HSP. But incorporating a few comforting pieces into your abode may be just what you need to take the edge off a long day.
We spend so much of our lives in our homes, they should be a place of rest and rejuvenation, not stress and overwhelm.